Kuala Lumpur

today i went back kl to pack my stuff out.

shifting everything in my room into a few bags.

and when i start sorting out things, i saw so many things that was a memory for me.

a sweet one of course.

first i saw the plastic bag of no eye look with a receipt in it.

it was when i went to purchase a new spectacles.

i went there with her.

i still remember her choosing a right design for me and asking which one i like.

then i saw those sticky notes she pasted on my wall.

15 things i should and should not do..

tearing each of the sticky notes out was like tearing pieces of my heart away.

then i saw the cups she bought for me.

she bought 2 different sizes of cups for me.

she bought it because she remembered i say i don't have my own cups here.

she bought 1 big yellow cup which she named it fatty yellow and a regular green cup she called greeny.

and then i found the christmas card she drew for me last christmas.

i mean she wrote notes in it for me.

then the miniature replica of a guitar she bought for me in Melaka.

she went there just to settle her assignments.

and yet she still buy me something.

the design of the guitar was also exactly the one i pointed to her in a guitar shop which i wanted to buy.

i really miss you so much pooi ji.

so damn much.

when i'm in kl today i was looking at the window u use to stand and look out to the stars.

and that chair u sat on like a kid and go online with my laptop.

i will never forget how you sat on my lap all the time and chat in msn together with me.

the bathroom, everytime u go into my condo the first place u go is always the bathroom.

and the spot beside the place where i hang my towel. u always stood there and comb your hair.

and today when i'm in kl i did not come to look for you.

i regretted not looking for you.

but i thought if i look for u i fear i might regret looking for you.

until this very moment, every expression u showed me still appear to be fresh in my mind.

i couldn't forget how you smile at me, 

throwing tantrum at me, 

scolding me pokai, 

and also the time when u showed me the middle finger sign for the first time.

i was typing this post with tears flowing down my cheek.

i can't believe thinking everything back then would result in something like this.